As with any serious illness, one faces many challenges upon being diagnosed with Mesothelioma. While dealing with everything involved, it is natural to wonder how to talk to our children and grandchildren about this illness and its implications—including the possibility of death. It is important to remember that children are resilient and can handle just about anything adults can with enough support. As children are fearful of the unknown, access to information and support services is usually less frightening than what they may be imagining on their own. Once an honest and caring dialogue has been opened up, it is actually not uncommon for a child’s unique perspective to be a source of comfort for the parent or grandparent as well. A child’s reaction to a loved one’s illness and possible loss will vary; it is important to know your children and their coping styles. Children will experience stages of grief and loss much like adults do and need to be allowed the time and space to process their grief.

Below, I’ve compiled some information and strategies to assist with this difficult task.

· Tell your children the truth. Listen carefully to your children’s questions and answer them honestly and simply

· Avoid phrases like “going to sleep” or “going away” which can create confusion and fear

· Be prepared to answer the same questions over and over

· Be prepared to answer tough questions and provide reassurance

· Start the discussion when the illness begins to affect the children

· Explain the diagnosis and treatment plan in age-appropriate language

· Avoid telling children at bedtime as children will need time to play and talk after hearing the news (children’s way of processing information)

· Try to keep your schedule as normal as possible- meals, naps, routines, bedtimes, etc. Predictable routines reassure and help children feel secure

· Stick to your regular household rules and limit setting

· Look for any significant change in behavior that lasts for more than two weeks, this could indicate need for outside help/counseling (changes may include acting-out behavior at school, changes in how your child plays with his friends, difficulty sleeping, and loss of appetite)

There are many additional resources and support options on the web and in your local book stores. Read more at the American Cancer Society website in their article titled “Helping Children When a Family Member Has Cancer: Dealing With a Parent’s Terminal Illness” – for the full article click here